So you’ve just decided to go gluten-free. Perhaps you found that you have Celiac, perhaps your naturopath advised you to try the gluten-free lifestyle to see if you have undiagnosed sensitivities, or perhaps you just want to be healthier and you feel that taking gluten out of your diet will help you focus on healthier grains and proteins and fruits and vegetables.
Whatever caused you to take this leap, you suddenly find yourself looking at food in a whole new way. Every piece of food is potentially an enemy of your new commitment. You can no longer just pop a cracker when you’re filling the kids’ lunchboxes on Monday morning. You have to think about every morsel you put in your mouth.
Once you get on board with a new way of eating and you find replacements for the glutenous food you once enjoyed, it’s time to talk to friends and family. This brings on a whole other set of complications. As if navigating the grocery store wasn’t bad enough, now you have to face Aunt Bertha.
Telling friends and family is harder for some than others. If you’ve been on a long road of medical issues and stomach aches, most people in your life are probably already aware that you’re trying to feel better and probably will be supportive. But sometimes it feels overwhelming to think of all the people in the different areas of your life that you must face.
My advice is to start with your closest loved ones and/or those who live in your house. The first person I told of my new commitment was my husband. I’d been talking about going gluten-free for a few months and when I finally worked up to it, I had to tell my husband because I knew he would hold me accountable. Even if he didn’t actively hold me back from putting a cookie in my mouth, it was enough to say out loud, I’m going to do this. Once I said it, I felt like I had to follow through.
On November 14, 2010, I prepared one last glutenous supper of lasagna, garlic bread, caesar salad with huge fluffy croutons and homemade chocolate cake for dessert. While we were eating, I informed everyone at the dinner table that this was it, and the next day I was going gluten-free. And I did, the very next day, and I haven’t intentionally consumed gluten since.
(Did I mention that I was up all night with sweats and nausea after that dinner? If I wasn’t sure I needed to go gluten-free, that meal was enough to convince me, right there.)
When it comes to talking to friends and acquaintances, be confident when you discuss your diet restrictions. I don’t share it unless it’s necessary, but our culture pretty much lives for food, so it comes up a lot more often than you’d think.
I find that it’s easier to explain my situation with simple terms that people understand. Those of us living the gluten free lifestyle understand that celiac disease is an autoimmune disorder, and that there’s a difference between CD and a wheat allergy, and that gluten insensitivity differs from CD and allergies but still needs to be taken seriously.
But I find that when I’m explaining my situation to people for the first time, it’s best to keep it simple. I usually say, “I’m gluten free. I can’t eat wheat.” If no one questions me, then I leave it at that.
Of course, it’s not usually that simple. Nothing in life is!
The next question than usually comes up is, “What DO you eat?”
I swear, that question always cracks me up. If I know the person well enough, I often quip, “Everything else!” I mean, there is more to life than cookies and cake and pasta and bread! But then again, look at the Standard American Diet, and you’ll understand why this always shocks people. Most people live on 90% carbs and sugar. But I digress.
I explain that I try to focus on good quality meat, vegetables, fruits and cheeses and that rice and potatoes are gluten-free, of course. Then I tell them of all the wonderful brands (like Udi’s!) that produce delicious gluten-free muffins and breads and pastas. I hardly feel deprived.
If they’re interested, I give them more details about my story, but I try not to make my diet the focus of every conversation. Sometimes that takes some work, especially at first when everything is so new. I’m always thinking about how I feel and what I’m putting in my mouth, so it’s hard not to bring it up in conversation. But it’s usually best to keep that to oneself.
The worst is, of course, the one family member who doesn’t get it — the one who thinks you’re hyper sensitive and tries to sabotage your efforts. Everyone has one, right? I think the best thing is to be firm and change the topic of conversation. After all, it’s your life. You have to do what is best for you, and if you’re going gluten free, chances are you have had some pretty miserable symptoms that you’re trying to overcome. You have every right to feel good, and if it hurts Aunt Bertha’s feelings that you don’t eat her homemade pasta like you have every Friday night for the past ten years, then so be it. She’ll come around, especially once you show her how many good gluten-free pastas are available.
It takes some trial and error, but in the end, people tend to respect our choices. I try to keep it simple and brief and positive and then change the subject. Works {almost} every time!
